


Germaphobe

by nnmkmiya



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Death, I cried making this, Light Angst, M/M, This Was An Awful Idea, i didn't correct any grammatical error yet, ignore these tags, im not sure if this is sad tho-, im redoing the ending so that will be posted later, my friend made me post this, not finished, osamu wasn't allowed to see his brother in the hospital, unknown disease
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-25
Updated: 2020-11-25
Packaged: 2021-03-10 00:56:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,896
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27705209
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nnmkmiya/pseuds/nnmkmiya
Summary: Sakusa stayed with Atsumu even during some of the toughest times.
Relationships: Miya Atsumu/Sakusa Kiyoomi
Comments: 2
Kudos: 43





	Germaphobe

**Author's Note:**

> I'm not even sure if this is supposed to be sad but ok, i still cried, but i'm weak.

Many people would see Osamu Miya as the better twin, he has better looks, better food, better composure, and is over all the better twin. I don't necessarily agree with those facts, Osamu is very caring, but so is Atsumu, he just shows it in a different way. Osamu can control his emotions better and is less energetic and excited for everything, but Atsumu likes to show his emotions, when he's sad, when he's happy, and when he's mad. 

The twins are looked at as one _has to be_ better than the other and it's killing Atsumu, he knows people like his twin more, he's better at everything, he gets it. But ever since Atsumu was diagnosed with an unknown illness, suddenly every loves him. 

Yes, he was diagnosed with some illness that no one has ever heard of, none the less had before. It all happened after practice when he and Osamu were walking home. Atsumu was talking about his exam he failed, when suddenly, everything went numb. He fell to the ground, shaking, Osamu not knowing what to do, called the ambulance, which was the right thing to do. 

The doctors found something wrong with Atsumu's body, trapping him in the hell like hospital, not even knowing what was wrong. From x-rays and blood tests, everything seemed to be just fine, but Atsumu's reaction to everything was proving them otherwise. No matter what they tried, Atsumu would have no change in behavior. 

Osamu and Kita would occasionally check up on him, but eventually, they weren't allowed to visit him since the doctors couldn't prove anything about Atsumu's 'illness'. They weren't even sure if he had one, what ever it was, was really affecting his body. 

Some of the symptoms of this illness were his body going numb to the point he can't move, he lost most of his senses, he struggles sleeping, and too much movement causes a spike in his breathing to the point he passes out. 

With the lack of sleep, he had dark bags under his eyes, and tear stains from crying and marks all of his body from the surgeries that had no effect on his body at all. His head hurts all the time, minor headaches to major headaches, no matter what it was, he couldn't think properly. 

Eventually they let him leave the hospital during the day so he can go see his friends, but if something bad happens to him just once, he won't be allowed out until (if) they find a cure. I mean, kind of, he still had to have a guide with him because he couldn't smell, taste, or see, he needed someone to tell him what he was eating or what was in front of him. His guide was a volunteer at the hospital, Sakusa Kiyoomi, he's the same age as Atsumu and normally helps the workers at the desk or decorates some of the rooms. 

He was also a germaphobe, but we're going to ignore that part for now. Atsumu has known him for a while, he was the boy who would clean his room often or stay with Atsumu during random times of the day making sure he was actually sleeping and eating. Atsumu never gave attention to him though, he wasn't necessarily important to him. 

Sakusa was definitely annoyed that he had to help a helpless person get around the town, but relaxed into the idea eventually when they offered to pay him. Atsumu, however, didn't care who guided him, he didn't even know what he'd do if he were to leave the hospital, the last person he ever wanted to see was his brother, Osamu or Kita. 

He'd just have to make an excuse to not leave, but then again, it would be nice to leave every once and a while, and maybe get to know the boy who is always wondering around his room.

* * *

It's been a year since Atsumu was first let out of the hospital, he would occasionally leave and eat onigiri with Sakusa, or Omi Omi as he likes to call him, at the park under the trees in the shade or by the stream in the forest, where no one would see him. The onigiri kinda reminded him of his twin that he hasn't seen in a rather long time. 

Sakusa wasn't too fond of the idea, hiding in the forests, but Atsumu ignored that and continued to walk there, running into a few trees on his way. When he tripped over a rock, much to Sakusa's dismay, caught him and sat him on the rock, letting his legs hang over the edge, his feet barely touching the water from the small stream. They would go to this spot every other day, ordering onigiri from the same small shop by the hospital. 

Atsumu would always get so excited when he was with Sakusa, he kind of forgot that, one, Sakusa was a germaphobe, and two, he had a major illness. Sakusa tried his best to let Atsumu hold onto him, but he would always end up pushing him away and he hated it, he knew Atsumu didn't like it either, but he also knew Atsumu understood. 

"Hey, 'Tsumu" Sakusa called to bleach blond haired boy, who was moving his hand back a forth through the water, the cold water that he couldn't see anymore. Atsumu was blankly staring at the water, hoping to see it once more, to see the algae that was floating through the water, much to Sakusa's liking. 

Atsumu stood up, moving his arms out, trying to remember where he was, but when he didn't feel a tree he walked closer to Sakusa. He closed his eyes, not that it'll make a difference and walked over to Sakusa. When he knows where he is, he can easily get through the small area in the forest since he's been enough times to remember. 

He slowly made his way to Sakusa cautiously and sat down, crossing his legs next to Sakusa and moved his arm out to see if Sakusa was still there. When he reached for Sakusa's hand, he felt the germaphobe flinch, and thought he was probably sneering at him since his hand was dirty from touching the water. "Omi" Atsumu calmly said as he moved his slim, long fingers around Sakusa's hand like he would normally do, but Sakusa didn't really mind as much as he thought he would. 

"you mentioned you had a brother?" Sakusa asked, his breath merely visible in the cold air. Atsumu stared, well looked in the direction of Sakusa blankly, but eventually nodded, answering Sakusa's question, still playing with his hand. "Why not visit him one of these days, I'm sure he misses you," Sakusa continued.

Atsumu would often take a long time to reply because his brain needs more time to think things through before understanding them, so Sakusa tried to be patient with the boy. Atsumu thinks for a few minutes, tightening his grip on Sakusa's hands, before making out a small, "no," his breath lingering in the air, but Sakusa only nodded in response, not that Atsumu saw it. 

Sakusa rubbed his thumb over the back of Atsumu hand, making sure Atsumu was calm, he didn't want Atsumu to feel many emotions at once because it could confuse his mind even more than it is already. He likes to make sure Atsumu feels safe, so he knows Atsumu won't freak out at sudden movements, which can cause his heart rate to go up and his breathing can get a little out of control, but he'll be fine. 

They sat in comfortable silence for a while, before Atsumu's hands started shaking from how cold it was, his senses starting kicking in. "Omi" he breathed out, "I'm getting cold." Sakusa stood up, holding onto Atsumu's hand making sure he got up as well and doesn't trip over something. "We can go back to the hospital if you want, or do you want to do something in particular?," he asked the older Miya. 

Atsumu didn't reply though, so Sakusa just took them back to Atsumu's room in the hospital, "Omi-kun" Atsumu whispered when Sakusa led Atsumu back to his bed, "will I ever be okay again?" he asked tears forming in his eyes, he just wanted to play volleyball again, be with his friends, with his family, not that he didn't love being with Sakusa, but it hurt knowing the last time he really saw his team all together was when they had lost their game and he can't even remember who it was against. 

Sakusa bit his lip, not knowing if he should respond to it, "Atsumu, please don't cry" he said, "just... don't think about your future right now" he really wanted to say 'you'll be okay, don't cry' but he knows Atsumu mostly won't be alright in the future, he himself didn't want to know that, so why would Atsumu. 

Atsumu nodded, "thanks, Omi... for always being with me, even though I know it probably pains you to be with someone like me, the opposite of clean" he chucked, wiping the tears from his eyes. He likes to tell himself that Sakusa only stayed with him for the money and that Sakusa thinks he's disgusting. Sakusa walked closer to Atsumu and sat next to him on his bed, resting his head on Atsumu's shoulder, interlocking their hands, "don't worry, I want to stay with you, not because your sick, not because I'm being paid, but because I'm truly interested in you, you're such an amazing person Atsumu and it hurts seeing someone so... beautiful suffer..." he whispered, "you're not disgusting, I'm just not used to touch..." he added. 

Atsumu smiled, resting his head on top of Sakusa's, not saying a word, he tried to sleep but decided there was no point in that, so he asked Sakusa to listen to music. Since Atsumu can't watch any movies, he likes to listen to Sakusa's playlist that he made specifically for him, it had some of his favorite songs, but it also had calming happy and sad music. He would often ask Sakusa to listen to it when he doesn't know what to do, especially when he can't sleep. 

Sakusa got up to get his phone that was in his bag, hanging on the hooks. He gave Atsumu one of the earbuds and put the other in his ear so they can listen to it together. Atsumu hummed to the sound, nodding his head to the beat. Sakusa smiled as he watched Atsumu, he knew Atsumu felt safe at times like this and when he was sure Atsumu felt safe, he can relax more and enjoy his time with Atsumu, still not knowing how long this time is going to be. 

One of Atsumu's favorite songs, Counting Stars by OneRepublic started and he smiled facing Sakusa, "this is my favorite song," he said even though Sakusa already knew that, he smiled, squeezing his hand and said, "I love this song too." Atsumu softly sang along with the song, his voice soft and angelic like, calming Sakusa himself. Sakusa would say Atsumu had such a pretty voice he could even sleep to it, in which he did, he fell asleep listening to Atsumu sing. 

Atsumu, of course didn't notice that Sakusa had fallen asleep, but he continued to sing along with the songs, one after another, the playlist playing on loop. Eventually it was about 12 at night and Atsumu had taken out his ear bud, shaking Sakusa, "Omi" he whispered, "what time is it" he asked, but much to his dismay, he never answered, "Omi" he said louder earning a groan from the taller male. "Omi-kun? You awake?" he asked, but Sakusa, didn't hear him. Atsumu sighed and rolled around, facing the window he didn't know was there, the moon was shining in the room brightly, the planets and stars rather visible in the night sky. If only Atsumu was able to see them. 

In the morning, Sakusa sat up, to see Atsumu facing the other way, still awake, but just blankly staring into the thin air, he looked exhausted, he hasn't slept for many days, sometimes it gets to the point they have to put him out so he can get sleep. Sakusa sighed and lightly tapped Atsumu on the shoulder, Atsumu turned around to face Sakusa and sat up, not really knowing what he was looking at, he didn't even know what Sakusa looked like. "Omi?" he asked, making sure it was Sakusa in the first place. "Yes, it's me, Omi" Sakusa said hesitating a bit before reaching out to grab Atsumu's hand in his own, smiling, not that Atsumu will probably ever see his smile. 

"Are you hungry?" Sakusa asked Atsumu, Atsumu tilted his head slightly before frowning, "what's the point, I can't taste anything I eat," he said slumping back in the bed. "Onigiri doesn't even taste the same anymore" he muttered. Sakusa shrugged, more to himself than anything, "I know, but food is still an important factor for you to live, Atsumu, you do want to live right?" he asked, fully knowing that's not a question to ask Atsumu because it can make his emotions go wild and then he can't breath but he needed to know, not that it really mattered though, he was going to live whether he liked it or not. 

Atsumu shrugged, "Omi, I'll eat, I'm just not hungry now days," he explained. Sakusa sighed, "I'll go get you something to eat at the restaurant near us so I can get myself food that isn't hospital food for once, do you want to come?" he asked, but Atsumu shook his head, "Okay, I'll be back in a bit" Sakusa assured Atsumu before leaving the room. 

He walked to the front desk and told the lady that he was leaving for a bit and that someone should keep an eyes on Atsumu. She agreed and sent a nurse to watch over him while Sakusa was gone. Sakusa walked to the small restaurant near the hospital which was about a 10 minutes walk. He slipped his mask on over his face as he entered when he saw someone who kind of looked like Atsumu, and another male that he didn't know, but ignored them. When he got his food and was about to leave, someone accidentally bumped into his, knocking their drink on him, "what the heck!" he shouted, jumping back. 

"I'm so sorry, I didn't see you there!" the person said getting some napkins, but Sakusa just took off his shirt and threw it in the trashcan, "that's disgusting now" he muttered, the person looked awfully like Atsumu and the curiosity got to the best of him, he knew Atsumu wanted nothing to do with his family anyways. "Do you... by any chance have a brother?" he asked and the gray haired male's eyes visibly widened and the other male looked away from the two, probably wanting nothing to do with this conversation. 

"y-yeah, but I haven't seen him in a few years," he said quietly, getting ready to leave, but Sakusa stopped him, "Atsumu Miya?" he asked, "is that his name?" he added. The gray haired stranger stopped in his tracks, "y-yeah, do you know him?" he asked, tears in his eyes. Sakusa looked at the people around him and pulled the two men out of the small restaurant to continue their conversation. 

"So? Do you know him or not?" The gray haired male snapped, Sakusa rolled his eyes, "of course I do" he muttered, "what's your name?" he asked. "I'm Osamu and this is my boyfriend Suna" he said pointing to the smaller male who looked scared for some reason. Sakusa nodded, "I'm the one who watches over Atsumu" he said. Osamu stared at the germaphobe in interest, "is he alright? what's he been up to? am I allowed to see him?" he asked too many questions, much to Sakusa's dismay. 

Sakusa stopped him before he can ask anymore questions, "we aren't allowed to talk about his illness especially because it's still unknown, so technically, no he is not okay, as of right now," Sakusa started but Osamu still had tears in his eyes and it bother Sakusa, he knew he shouldn't say anything bad at the moment. "He's seems content with what he can have at the moment, but I can't confirm his feelings really, he's scared of what will happen to him if they never find out what is wrong with his body," he finished. 

Osamu nodded, wrapping his arm around Suna's waist, "Am I allowed to see him?" he asked. Sakusa bit his lip, but shook his head, "he said he doesn't want to see his brother, he's probably scared that you will see him as weak or something" he explained. 

Osamu bit his lip, he really wanted to see his brother one last time before it's too late, not that he has negative thoughts but he doesn't want his last time seeing his brother be when he was passed out in a hospital. More tears formed in his eyes, "thank you for informing me a bit on my twin, i appreciate it, but I should leave now." he said walking away, Suna following him. 

Sakusa felt really bad, he didn't know what to do right now, should he just tell Osamu to come with him, but then he'd be going against everything Atsumu said, possibly going against what Atsumu wants. Sakusa bit his lip and decided to ignore it and walked back to the hospital. 

When he made it to Atsumu's room, his eyes widened and he dropped the bags with the food in it and ran into the room, "What happened?!" He asked one of the many doctors, "he's fine, he's just having a hard time breathing at the moment," a doctor answered calmly. Sakusa looked around the room, there were too many doctors present for Atsumu to 'just be having a hard time breathing', they were taking some blood and other tests, which they don't normally do when he's 'just having a hard time breathing', it was definitely something worse. "Now can you please leave and wait outside of the room," the doctor asked pointing to the door. "No, tell me what happened while I was gone!" he demanded but the doctor pushes him out. 

Tears were running down Sakusa's eyes, he's fine, he's fine, he kept telling himself, he's not dying, he's not dying, he's going to be okay, he's not dying, all these positive thoughts flooding his brained, but were slowly being drowned out by the negative thoughts. He's dying, he won't last long enough, he won't always be here with you, stop lying to yourself. He leaned against the wall, sliding down it, as he cried in his arms. No, this can't be happening, this is all a dream, he kept telling himself. Two doctors ran out of the room, startling Sakusa, they had the blood tests in their hands, he heard one of the doctors say, "his blood is different this time" or something along the lines of that. 

Sakusa knew it, this wasn't Atsumu 'just having a hard time breathing' it was something else, just what was it. Sakusa decided to get up and leave the hospital, he needed to talk to Osamu again, he just has to find him first. He walked back in the direction of the small restaurant and just walked in the direction Osamu went. He continued to walk for about 20 minutes when he saw a school and there, there was in the infamous Osamu Miya, the twin of Atsumu Miya talking with a bunch of people. 

Osamu saw him and waved, everyone turning in the direction of Sakusa, much to his dismay. "Hey! Sakusa!" He exclaimed as Sakusa walked over to them, "you know him?" one of the people Osamu was talking to asked. "Yeah, me and Suna met him today" he said, but then noticed Sakusa looked like he was crying, "you alright?" he asked. 

Sakusa shrugged, "they fucking kicked me out of the room, because he's just having a hard time breathing, but no, they took blood, they won't tell me," he said, obvious anger coming from his mouth. "They always tell me..." he whispered, "they wait til I leave" he rolled his eyes. Osamu stared at him wide eyed, "do you know if he's alright?" he asked. Sakusa shrugged, "I would never know" he said, anger lingering in his voice. 

"Mind filling me in on who you two are talking about?" a black and white haired man asked. "Atsumu", " 'Tsumu" they answer at the same time. "You know him" The black and white haired man asked as well. Sakusa nodded, "I stayed with him everywhere he goes, but something always happens when I leave," he rolled his eyes. "Oh, this is Kita by the way" Osamu said pointing to the black and white haired male. Sakusa only nodded, "hi I guess" he said looking away from the group when suddenly his phone rang. 

The caller ID was from the hospital and Sakusa freaked out, "hello" he responded, "Sakusa?" The person on the other side of the phone asked, "where are you? Atsumu woke up again and wants to see you." the caller informed, "Oh, I'm not near the hospital" he answered. "Oh, come quickly and also, we found the problem" Sakusa's eyes widened so much, the other were stating to get concerned. "How? What is it? and is there a solution?" He frantically asked. "There is a type of disease that is slowly spreading through his body, but isn't found in his blood, so when they took some tests today they found it since it rose higher in his body then where they were originally taking the tests" The doctor explained, Sakusa's anger rising to a level he didn't know how to respond nicely, "So this whole time, you've been taking the tests wrong, you idiot" He merely shouted, freaking the other out. "What great doctors you are" He muttered before handing up. Not even wanting to know how it got there and if there is cure because with that explanation, they have never seen something like this before, so there was certainly no cure. 

He just ran back to the hospital, leaving the other their concerned for their former setter. He ran as fast as he could, which wasn't as fast as he used to, but fast enough. By the time he made it to the hospital, he was freezing and could barely feel a limb, but continued to run to Atsumu's room. 

Once he made it, he was panting from all the running, "'Tsumu" he breathed out, Atsumu was crying, curled up in a ball. Sakusa ran to him, "'Tsumu, are you alright?" he asked. Atsumu shook his head, "I might die if this disease spread to my head and it's at my arms" he cried out, "It's spreading really slowly, but it's started to speed up this morning, causing me to pass out!" He said really fast, Sakusa not really understanding it, but knew Atsumu was scared. 

"Omi! I'm scared! I don't want to die!" He cried, tears rolling down his face, "I thought I was going to get better, but it just gets worse!" He shouted throwing something on to the ground. Sakusa didn't bother to see what it was, he didn't care either. He got into Atsumu's bed and hugged him tightly, tears rolling down his eyes. "Atsumu, go through it, when you die you'll feel better..." he said, not that he wanted Atsumu to die, it hurt saying such words especially because he knew he couldn't handle Atsumu dying himself. 

Atsumu didn't reply he only frantically shook his head, "No, I don't want to leave you, Omi!" he was sobbing at this point, heavy tears falling from his red, puffy eyes, never stopping. "I can't lose you!" He added. Sakusa only hugged him tighter, "I will always be with you, dead or not" he said, scared of Atsumu dying himself, he didn't want to feel the pain of Atsumu dying at the moment. He couldn't mentally handle it. "You're not dying right now, Atsumu, you're not, you can't" Sakusa started rambling, at this point he didn't care about his phobia, he just really want to make Atsumu feel better about dying. Yes, they may not be able to ever talk again, but they will just wait for a while to see each other again. 

"NO!" Atsumu shouted pushing Sakusa away from him, "No! I'm not going to die! I don't want to die! I can't die!" He shouted kicking his legs towards Sakusa. Sakusa just sat up and let Atsumu shout and be angry, he knew Atsumu was so scared of dying, scared that he'll never see his brother again, that he'll never see his friends again, that he may never be able to play volleyball again. "Omi! I can't die!" He finally said. 

Imagine knowing that your about to die before you die, knowing that you've been locked in a hospital, only going to the park every other day for the last year, not remembering the last time you tasted your favorite food, played your favorite sport, done something with out worrying that you may collapse out of no where. Atsumu has had it hard and he couldn't bare to think someone has gone through worse, he hated this, every last bit of this. He felt like he has already died and is somehow just suffering through it. 

A week later, Sakusa and Atsumu stayed in Atsumu's room, eating and listening to music and got constant update on how far it has spread, but no positive news has came to them yet. Atsumu would cry himself to sleep, but at least he was sleeping Sakusa thought, but then again Sakusa didn't want him to sleep, he didn't want Atsumu to die in his sleep. "Atsumu, do you want to go to the park again?," Sakusa asked. Atsumu stared blanking at the rood before nodded saying, "y-yes, the p-park sounds f-fun," his arms shaking from how cold he was even thought it was rather warm in the room. Sakusa helped Atsumu out of his bed and led him to the door way. Sakusa asked the doctor if Atsumu can leave, and they said he can, just not for too long. 

Sakusa then led Atsumu to the small shop near the park and ordered some onigiri, Atsumu didn't eat his though, he felt numb al over from the coldness. Sakusa noticed that as they sat down on their little rock. Sakusa looked at Atsumu, a sudden wave of pain went through him as he watched Atsumu stare down at his onigiri that he couldn't see. Atsumu was also shivering from the coldness, Sakusa pulled Atsumu onto his lap and wrapped his arms around the weaker boy. 

Atsumu leaned into Sakusa's touch and rested his head back against Sakusa's shoulder. "Omi-kun, if I were to die right now, what would you do?" he asked. Sakusa stared at him blankly, "well one, you better not die while sitting in my lap, two, I would call the ambulance like a sane person, and three... I would probably cry... I can't bother losing you at a time like this... not when I just started feeling closer to you... not when I just starting feeling really happy with you, not when I finally found the feelings I've always wanted..." Sakusa cried, "I'm not losing you today, not tomorrow, not next week... I-I don't know what I'll do actually" he said wiping the tears from his eyes. 

Atsumu only laughed at his response, "don't worry, I'll be here for a bit longer" he said so sure of himself. "Don't be so sure of yourself, I hate it" Sakusa snapped, "I don't want you to say that because then you'll die on me!" he whispered causing Atsumu to laugh, "I will die, I'm sure of that, unless an angel comes and heals me!" he joked. 

Sakusa muttered a small, "I wish that does happen," and it didn't go ignored by Atsumu, "why? so I can stay with you forever? because if I get let out of the hospital, I know I won't but let's just say an angel does heal me and I was let out of the hospital, I would go right to my brother and play volleyball for eternity" he said as he pushes his arms up as if he was setting a ball in the air, the memories of playing volleyball flooding back to the two boys. 

Atsumu started rapidly shivering from the cold, so Sakusa gave him his jacket and the two walked back to the hospital in freezing silence. When they got back, Atsumu, wrapped in Sakusa's jacket, curled in a ball under the blankets, listening to the sound of the wind coming from outside and the tree brushing against the window. When suddenly Atsumu gasped, not being able to breath, "Omi!" he gasped out, Sakusa freaked out and ran out of the room shouting for a doctors help, three came rushing in to help Atsumu. 

Sakusa was literally biting at his nails, he shouldn't have spoke too soon, Atsumu might die today, scratch what he said earlier. Heavy tears falling from his eyes again, he really didn't want to lose Atsumu today, not today, not never. 

Turns out Atsumu was just over thinking some things, causing his heart to start beating faster. Sakusa was rather relieved that it wasn't anything to bad, but he was still very cautious of his illness that can cause him to die anytime soon. But Sakusa doesn't like to think about that too much. 

"'Tsumu..." he whispered to the small boy who was curled up in a ball next to Sakusa, sleeping. Atsumu was tired from straining to breath all afternoon and from not sleeping very well all the other nights. He had dark bags under his eyes, his hair was long and messy from not being able to cut it in a while, the blond of his hair only at the tips. Sakusa was sitting on Atsumu's bed, scrolling through his phone, as he ran his slim fingers through Atsumu's hair. 

He eventually came across Osamu's Instagram page, he scrolled through the photos, mostly of him and Suna, occasionally a few photos of his dog or of Kita. He then saw a selfie of Osamu and Atsumu, it was posted almost 3 years ago, but he couldn't help but notice how happy Atsumu looked. He smiled, Atsumu was holding up two fingers behind Osamu's head, laughing a bit, while Osamu was sneering at the camera. He scrolled a little more and there was a photo of the entire team, Atsumu had his arms around Suna and Osamu, them both glaring at him, Atsumu looked so happy. "Omi?" he heard Atsumu whisper, his voice a bit groggy from being asleep. 

Sakusa turned off his phone and smiled down at the boy, "hey, you alright?" he asked softly, more in a whisper because it was 1 in the morning. Atsumu nodded, sitting up, rubbing his eyes, looking around, but his face fell into a slight frown, "I sometimes wonder what you look like" he muttered, "I've known you for so long, and yet, I have never actually seen what you looked like..." he added. Sakusa reached out and put his hand on Atsumu's cheek, "you don't need to know what I look like, it doesn't even matter..." he whispered, "you should go back to sleep" he said, moving some of Atsumu's hair behind his ear. 

Atsumu half-heartedly smiled, "I know..." he whispered, turning to face Sakusa again, he reached a hand out, softly guiding it down Sakusa's face, to his neck, then back up, Sakusa flinched against his touch, not knowing what he was doing. "Atsumu?" he questioned the male. Atsumu brushed his thumb lightly across Sakusa's lips, then down to his chin. "What are you doing, 'Tsumu?" Sakusa asked, taking hold of Atsumu's hand moving it away from his face. Atsumu slightly shrugged, "I'm not tired" was all he said before turning around to face the window he still didn't know was there. 

Sakusa continued to scroll through his phone and look at all the old photos of Atsumu and Osamu and occasionally with Suna. He then noticed Osamu tagged Atsumu on every single one of the posts and he tapped on Atsumu's username; @thebettertwin, he chuckled at it. His bio was blank and his last photo was posted on February 12th, three years ago, the day he first ended up at the hospital. He scrolled through some of the comments, them all praying for Atsumu to get better, he smiled at some of the thoughtful things said, but then scowled when he read some comments saying they hope he dies or he hopes he goes to hell, but ignored them.

He turned off his phone with a sigh looking at Atsumu, who was just staring at the window... well not staring but just looking into nothing. He laid down towards Atsumu and wrapped his arms around him, pulling him closer to himself. "Omi!" Atsumu squeaked. "What?" Sakusa questioned letting go of Atsumu, but Atsumu leaned back into his touch. Sakusa wrapped his arms around Atsumu's torso once more, "hey, 'Tsumu?" he asked. 

Atsumu hummed in response, "your brother..." he started but Atsumu turned around to face Sakusa, saying, "no" and hid his head in Sakusa's chest. "Atsumu." Sakusa said firmly, "do you know how bad your brother will feel when you die, that he never once visited you because he refuses to visit you unless you want him to." he said seriously. 

Atsumu froze, "I didn't think of it like that..." was all he said before falling asleep. Sakusa sighed, he might just invite Osamu over without Atsumu's permission. He reached behind himself for his phone and turned it on, scrolling through it again, nuzzling his nose in Atsumu's hair. He easily found Osamu's Instagram again followed it, surprisingly, Osamu followed back instantly. 

He wasn't sure if he should message Osamu, but before he was able to go through with that though, Osamu messaged him. 

_Osamu Miya - Sakusa right?_

_Kiyoomi - Yeah, that's me_

_Osamu Miya - If my name didn't give it away, I'm Osamu, Atsumu's twin. How is he btw?_

_Kiyoomi - He's doing alright, I suppose, he's sleeping right now_

_Osamu Miya - I really want to see him again, just one more time, you know... before he dies_

_Kiyoomi - I sometimes like to think that he isn't going to die, but yeah, I feel you, every time I ask him about you he just says no_

_Osamu Miya - I assumed_

_Kiyoomi - but why? I mean, why doesn't he want to see you?_

_Osamu Miya - I'm not sure I know either_

_Kiyoomi - oh ok_

Sakusa had a pretty good idea on why he doesn't want to see Osamu, but he really should, before it's too late. Like it would make Osamu feel even worse if he decides to see him on the day he dies only. But hopefully, that day comes later than sooner, never would be better, but that's just not how life works. 


End file.
